Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One’s a Goodyear; the other’s a great year.
Archive for March, 2009
Is goodyear making condoms
March 30th, 2009Maybe this is not so funny
March 28th, 2009A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a
masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the
stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave
the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave
birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.
All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into
the room in tears.
‘What’s wrong?’ asked the mother. ‘I was taking a tinkle and
this bullet came out,’ replied the daughter.
The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16
years ago.
About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in
tears. ‘Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this
bullet came out.’
Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened
16 years ago.
A week later her son walked into the room in tears.
‘It’s okay’ said the Mom, ‘I know what happened. You were
taking a tinkle and a bullet came out.’
‘No,’ said the boy, ‘I was playing with myself and I shot the
dog.’
Tampons, the great enabler
March 28th, 2009Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”
“Eight,” the boy replied.
The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”
The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either one. “
The origin of our species
March 28th, 2009A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race come about?”
The Mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made.”
A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them.”
The confused girl returns to her mother and says, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God , and Papa says we developed from monkeys?”
The Mother answers, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side.”
Johnny is a gambler
March 28th, 2009
Mole
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.
After Little Johnny’s first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, “I think I broke his gambling”. The father asked how and she said, “He bet me R5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money.”
“DAMN!” said the father.
“What’s wrong?”, the teacher asked.
Little Johnny’s father said:, “This morning he bet me R100.00 he would see his teacher’s butt before the day was over!”
Smart blonde
March 28th, 2009Stupid question, or stupid husband
March 28th, 2009The account beat at making sums
March 28th, 2009
abacus
A 60 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:
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Dear Wife
I am 60 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.
Your
Husband
——————————————————
When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows:
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Dear Husband
I am 58 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old toy boy.
You being an accountant will therefore appreciate that 18 goes into 58 many more times than 60 goes into 18.
Your
Wife
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