The little boy was sitting on a park bench munching on one chocolate bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, ‘Son, you know eating all those chocolates isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat.’
The boy replied, ‘My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.’
The man asked, ‘Did your grandfather eat 6 chocolate bars at a time?’
The little boy answered, ‘No, he minded his own damn business!’
A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have sex with him because he only had 24 hours to live.
‘Of course Darling.’ she replied. And so they have sex.
Four hours later they are lying in bed and he turns to her again, and says, ‘you know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?’
Again she responds very sympathetically and agrees to have sex.
Another 8 hours pass, and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion, he taps her on the shoulder, and asks her again, ‘You know dear, I only have 12 more hours left, how about again for old times sake?’
By this time she is getting a little annoyed, but reluctantly agrees.
After they finish she goes back to sleep and 4 hours later, he taps her on the shoulder again and says, ‘Dear, I hate to keep bothering you but you know I only have 8 hours left before I die, can we do it one more time?’
Well, she turns to him with a grimaced look on her face and says, ‘You know.. you don’t have to get up in the morning. I do!!!’
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