For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the
final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth
after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of
sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office. After the exam, she shyly said, ‘’My husband wants me to ask you…,” to which the doctor replies, ‘’I know, I know,” placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ‘’I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.”
‘’No, that’s not it,‘’ the woman confessed. ”He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.”
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office. After the exam, she shyly said, ‘’My husband wants me to ask you…,” to which the doctor replies, ‘’I know, I know,” placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ‘’I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.”
‘’No, that’s not it,‘’ the woman confessed. ”He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.”
One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won’t be able to go to work.
Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, ‘’Are you really going to let him get away with this?”
‘’No, I guess not,” says God.
The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn’t bump into anyone he knows. The golf course is empty when he gets there. So he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one.
Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks, ‘’ Why did you let him do that?”
To this God says, ”Who’s he going to tell?”
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